I'll never be the same
by Lovegood Nargles
Summary: Katniss is captured by the Capitol. Their dad is dead. Prim falls in love. She realizes things about herself she never even knew existed. Events keep changing for better and for worse. Who will survive another day, and who won't? Prim meets someone she never thought she'd see. Twists and turns around every corner. Will she love? Sry bad summary, good book! (ABANDONED FOR NOW) :(
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: The Day It All Started**

My name is Primrose Everdeen. I live in the country of Panem, more specifically, district 12. It is a very poor and rather undesirable place to live, however it does also carry a warm rustic feel to it as well. The people who live here are so kind, I feel as if we're all one big community, working to support each other. My life has also been filled with many hardships, if you look at the fact that I've lost my father and sister at a very young age. My father, who carried a popular name in our community for helping others, was killed in a mine explosion years ago. My sister, Katniss, one of the biggest role models in my life, had been taken by the Capitol while hunting in the woods one day. I loved her so much, and I miss her everyday. Maybe one day, we'll meet again. Luckily, we still have Gale, who was one of Katniss' best friends, who still manages to support me and my mother, as well as his own family. He was lucky to be able to conceal himself from the aircraft that spotted Katniss in the woods (as he tells us). I don't know if me and my mother could survive without him. Stepping back into reality, today is the day of the reaping. The day where innocent kids, a male and female from each district between the ages of 12 and 18, are chosen to fight to the death in the Capitol's "Hunger Games". I am 14 years old, this is my third year of the reaping. Because of Gale, and Greasy Sae at the Hob, I haven't had to take any tesserae, although it was tempting. Just as my mother adds the finishing touches on my hair, the gong rings from the town square. "We better get going." she says. The reaping for the 74th annual Hunger Games is about to begin.


	2. Chapter 2

Everyone is standing, in the middle of the Town Square, waiting to hear the two names of the tributes. Before I left home my mother kept on repeating to me while braiding my hair, "Don't worry. Your name is only in there once, and many other young girls have their name in multiple times. Your chances of being called are very slim, I mean Katniss had her name in it many times every year and not once was she called. You have nothing to worry about." After her saying that, it was a bit more reassuring to me, however I still had butterflies in my stomach like crazy. Out walked Haymitch Abernathy (the only victor district twelve has), and Effie Trinket from the Capitol to be a mentor to the tributes and read the tributes names. Haymitch seemed to be in his late forties/ early fifties, and was drunk like usual. Effie was wearing a crazy and colourful dress and massive, also colourful, hair. The moment they walked on stage (well actually, Effie walked out and Haymitch staggered out, almost knocking down Effie, until he found his seat), my palms got all sweaty, the butterflies in my stomach got even worse, and something didn't feel right. Effie began to say her speech before she announces the two tributes, as she does every year. Peacekeepers were by Effie and Haymitch, I'm guessing things have gone bad in the past... Anyways. "Ladies first." Effie said before she reached her hand into the female bowl. As Effie read aloud the female tribute, my heart stopped right there. The name she read aloud, was mine. Primrose Everdeen. - I couldn't think about anything for a little while after that. My mother just cracked and burst into tears. I could see by her face that since she was going through enough as it was, with my father dead and now Katniss gone, this just broke her completely. I was all she had left, and now she may lose me too. While I was stunned standing in place, like a statue, I could see Gale trying to comfort my loving mother. Effie ushered me to come stand with her while I still couldn't think. I finally came to, and slowly walked through the crowd and up the few steps there was. Effie turned towards the male tribute bowl. "Now for the men." Said Effie as she searched through the bowl with her hand to find the tribute. She read the name loud and proud as she did with mine. "Gale Hawthorne." It read. He was the only one supporting our family and now we must fight against each other to the death. Just my luck. Out of nowhere a young man stepped forward, raised three fingers from his left hand in the air and said "I volunteer as tribute." He looked to be 16 like my sister, but I wasn't too sure. He looked familiar, like I knew him from somewhere, but I couldn't quite remember. He slowly walked up to her, shocked and speechless. Once he was standing beside Effie's as well, I immediately recognized him. He worked at the bakery down the street. Katniss once mentioned to me how a boy who worked there gave her some bread when we were starving more than usual. Effie spoke again. "Well there you have it! The two tributes of district 12. Peeta Mellark and Primrose Everdeen." She announced. My mother and Gale raised three fingers high and proud as a sign of hope. It means thanks, it means admiration, it means goodbye to someone you love. One by one the rest of the crowd raised their fingers as well. Once we had a moment to take it all in, which wasn't long enough for me, we had to leave. 


	3. Chapter 3

Once we left the town square, Effie and Haymitch introduced them selves and told us our role in the games. As tributes in the games we must fight to the death against 22 other tributes and each other, so that the people of Panem will always have a bit of fear, feel intimidated, and will obey President Snow.

Soon Peeta and I are escorted by Haymitch and Effie to the Justice Building to say our final goodbyes to our loved ones before we get on the train. I'm waiting in a small room and in walks my mother. I was so happy to see her I had a few tears of joy, and she had tears of fear and sorrow. All we did for the few minutes she was there was hug. We didn't want to let go of each other. When it was time for her to leave she quietly said "You have to win this for me, you have to win it for_ us_." If I won not only would I be able to come home, but I would also win extra food for our family and our entire district.

After she left, Gale walked in, and it made me so happy to see him. "Do you know who that Peeta kid is?" asked Gale. "Ya, actually I do. When I was younger he gave my sister bread that helped us survive. He works at his family's bakery down the street. I guess he knew about our situation and decided to save you."

"Ya I guess so..." Gale said quiestly. "While I'm gone you have to make sure that my mother stays okay, and she has enough to eat. Do you think you could just go and check on her at least once a day, just to make sure that she's well? It would be a load off my shoulders to know she's doing fine." I told him.

"Sure." Gale responded.

The entire time he was there he just sat in the bench with his head staring at the floor, and hands together. His time was up, and I thought that was it for visitors, but I was wrong.

In walked Madge, the mayors daughter. Madge is my age, she dresses better than me because she has wealth, and always has a cheerful smile on her face... except for today. She was fidgeting with something in her hands, but I didn't know what it was. I asked her what it was and she told me how her father gave her this and how she wants me to keep it as good luck. She then handed me the small pin. On it was a mockingjay, a song bird created unintentionally by the Capitol. It is a cross between a mockingbird, and a jabberjay. Once I got it, I felt a bit of hope come into me. "When you go in the arena I want you to have this with you, so you will think of me, your mother, and your _home_." The way she said that last word, home, made me immediately think of all the poor people who are slowing dying of starvation, and are just barely making it day after day. "You have to win this for all the starving people back home. Last time we had a winner was many years ago, so that means the food we got from the Capitol isn't as much now as it was at first. Promise me you'll win this?" Madge said.

I stopped to think for a brief mom,lent, before I gave her a sincere, and honest answer. "I promise I'll try, but I can't make and promises to win it. I'm up against tributes who are a lot older than me, a lot stronger, some smarter, and have trained their entire life for this one moment." I told her.

Madge gave me a big hug then was escorted out of the room by the peacekeepers. That was all that came to visit me.

The only thing that was passing through my mind was, _that was most likely the last time I will ever see them again. The last time I'll see the justice building. The last time I'll see my home, District 12. _Just the thought of all that brought a tear to my eyes. I just sat there on that couch with my head in my hands crying, when I was interrupted by Peeta who must have heard my cries from the hall and ran in to see if I was okay.


	4. Chapter 4

When Peeta came in the room, he looked scared, frightened, and like I was in danger or hurt. He sat down beside me with his arm around my shoulders trying to comfort me. Peeta whispered while giving me a hug.

"What happened Prim? Did they hurt you? Was it something someone said? Tell me what happened so I can help you."

I said to him, between sobs "I.. I just thought of wh-what was h-h-happening to us. We, we most likely won't be a-able to make it home again."

"Prim I will do whatever it takes to get you home to your family. But you have to try too, I can't do everything on my own." Peeta quietly said.

"Madge came to visit me, and said that we have to win for not only us, but for our _home." _It was that last word again that hit me. I finally know why now. All these years, tributes have been playing for themselves, to make sure they stay alive. But I'm playing for our district, and so is Peeta. If I win, but our district didn't get anything, it wouldn't be pleasing to me. For me to be satisfied our district would need to get something too. Peeta nodded, and helped me to my feet. He gave me a quick little kiss on the cheek, which made me blush a bit, before we left to meet up with Haymitch and Effie in the hall.

We go outside, where there is a car just big enough to fit the four of us plus a driver, and Effie tells us to go inside it. Effie tells us that the car will drive us to the train station, where we then will aboard the train that will take us to the training centre in the Capitol. No one spoke the entire car ride, except for the odd time when Effie would start rambling on about something to do with our district, but no one was paying attention. It was a short trip until we got to the train station.

Once we arrived at the train station we got out of the car, and Peeta and I just stood there in awe. The train was massive, and nothing like we've ever seen before. "Well don't you two look a bit surprised? It's like you've never seen a train before." Effie exclaimed.

"Actually it is. Well sort of. I mean I've seen trains many times, but none this big, or luxurious." I said, still in awe. Haymitch patted me on the back and said "Hop aboard! This is the fun part." We decided to go aboard the hotel on wheels, instead of just staring at it.


	5. Chapter 5

Once we were on the train, we were speechless. Inside were, by the looks of them, very expensive tables and chairs in the dining car, and separate living quarters for us all. In each room was a queen bed, large dresser, small closet, and a bathroom with very complicated Capitol features such as different settings in the shower and bath. By the time we got on the train and settled in, it was time for dinner, so we all headed to the dining car to enjoy our feast.

In front of us was all the food you could imagine, and a strange hot, brown drink that smelt delicious. Peeta noticed me looking at it, wondering what the foreign liquid was, and he just did a bit of a laugh/snort. "It's hot chocolate Prim. Try it, I bet you'll like it." He said, while chuckling. Sure enough I tried it and loved it. I've never had any drink or even food taste this good. It was like my taste buds were dancing around on my tongue.

I chugged it all down, ignoring the burning in my throat from the heat of it. At this Peeta burst out laughing. I felt a bit embarrassed so I put it down and went back to eating. It was silent for a bit before Effie spoke.

"You know, out of all the years and different tributes from your district, you two are the most well mannered. They all ate like wild animals, shovelling food into their mouths with their hands. At least you both have manners and eat with utensils, and don't shovel it into their mouth."

At that, Peeta decided to have some fun with her and did exactly what the other tributes did... he ate with his hands, shovelled food into his mouth, and spoke with his mouth full spraying food everywhere. Haymitch and I both started to laugh, which made Peeta laugh, and Effie just sat there disgusted.

"I take back everything I just said. You young man have no manners when it comes to food." Said Effie in disgust. She started to ramble on about our district, and she said some pretty hurtful things.

With that I stood up. "I'm not really that hungry anymore." I said as I started to leave. When I was just going through the door I heard Peeta say "Ya me too." and he left right after me.

I went to my room and fell asleep for a long, long time because when I woke up Effie was telling me that we were in the Capitol and it was time to go to our designated floors for each district. Being district twelve, the last district, we got the penthouse suite and it was beautiful. It was gigantic and had jewels everywhere possible, large furniture, and smelled like fresh lavender.

I went to my room and just sat on the bed for a bit. My thoughts were interrupted by a knocking at the door. I got up and open the door and Peeta walks in.

"Hey." He said.

"Hey" I replied.

"Listen I want to talk to you, but not here. Follow me." He lead me to a staircase that took us to the roof. You could see the whole Capitol from up here.

"It's beautiful Peeta." I said taking in the view. We both sat down on the edge facing each other.

Peeta gave me a moment to take it all in, then finally spoke. "Listen. I brought you up here because I wanted to talk to you in private. I told Haymitch that I wanted it to be you to come back from the games... not me."

"Why would you do that? You would sacrifice yourself for me? Why?" I asked him. He paused for a moment before answering, then finally spoke in a hushed voice. "Because you _need_ to come back to your mother. She needs you, Gale needs you, Rory needs you, everyone needs you and your healing skills. If you don't come back, district 12 will be broken. More and more people would be dying from injuries, or starvation. You have a life, unlike me. No one needs me." When he said no one needs him, it made something break inside me, and I realized something... I need him.

" I do. I need you." I decided to tell him the truth since one of us will be dead for sure and maybe the other. It took a minute for him to process what I just said, and when it did he had a bit of a surprised/shocked/happy/sad/disappointed look on his face.

I knew that deep down inside him, I had just crushed him. "Really?" He asked. I nodded yes. He got a smile on his face and started to blush a bit.

"Prim, there's something I've been needing to tell you for a while now."

"What is it?" I asked, a bit scared for his response. I could tell it was hard for him to say, so I waited patiently for his response.

"For a while now, I... I have had the biggest crush on you... and I'm sorry I waited until now to say it, but it needed to be said."


	6. Chapter 6

He sighed with relief once he told me how he truly felt about me.

I didn't know what to say or do after that... all that I could do was a measly little smile, and of coarse... blush. I have never had some one tell me that they have a crush on me, so I felt a bit awkward in how to respond. Luckily for me I didn't have to do anything for him to know to do something that felt right.

He leaned in closer to me, and kissed me. At first I just froze. I didn't do anything for a moment, I just let him kiss me. The moment he tried to pull away I snapped back into reality, and pulled him back in. I held his face in my hands and kissed him right back, showing him my true feelings.

After a bit we both pulled away, mostly because we had to breathe. All that we both did was smile, and we couldn't make eye contact with each other for a couple of minutes. Peeta was the first one to speak again.

"So... Prim... Was that real or not real?" I could tell by the expression in his voice he wanted me to say real.

I told him my honest answer. "I'm... I'm sorry Peeta, but that was not... Fake." I decided to have a little fun and fake him out. He was looking pretty upset before he heard the last word. That made him smile and give me a little playful punch on the shoulder.

"Not cool Everdeen. Don't tease me like that again. Seriously, I've only fallen in love with one other girl, and there's no hope in her now. So what I'm trying to say is, don't play with my emotions again. I've been let down once and that broke me. Okay?" He said the first part jokingly, but the rest was dead serious.

"Okay." I said.

"Sorry about that."

"It's okay, you didn't know." He told me.

I wasn't sure if I should ask him this, but before I could rethink my decision the words were already coming out of my mouth. "Who was the other girl?... Oh my gosh I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up, I don't know what I was thinking."

He just sort of chuckled under his breath, then said "That's okay. I don't mind saying who she was, because you know her pretty well I should think."

All of these questions started racing through my head. _Was it one of my friends? No, no it couldn't have they're too young for him, then again I'm too young for him. Was it Katniss? No it couldn't have been her. She barely even knew him, she only saw him every now and then at the bakery. Who was it?_

Finally he told me. "It was your sister, Katniss."

"Oh... I see." I was shocked. No scratch that. Shocked doesn't even begin to explain how I feel. My emotions are just all over the place right now. I'm shocked, confused, a bit mad, upset, betrayed, and many more, but those just give a general idea of how I feel. I guess since I wasn't talking, I maybe didn't look okay because Peeta started to seem concerned.

"Prim? Prim are you okay? Talk to me! Prim do you want me to get Effie or Haymitch?"

"Ya... Ya I'm fine. I... I... I'm sorry, I have to go." I said as I ran back to my room. I slammed the door shut and just sat on the edge of my bed. I was speechless. Peeta had once loved my sister, and he probably still does, but since she's gone he moved on to me. Probably because I remind him of Katniss. Now I feel like that kiss up on the roof was all a lie. I don't even want to see him again. I told him how I truly felt about him, and now I feel like an idiot. When I get into those games I have a pretty good idea of who must go... Peeta.


End file.
